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Community Forums › News and General Discussions Forum › Jokes and Kneeslappers ! › ADVICE FROM JOHN - A RETIRED HUSBAND

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ADVICE FROM JOHN - A RETIRED HUSBAND
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Oldgoat
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Joined: Sep 09, 2005
Posts: 1665
Location: Somewhere north of Mexico
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:23 pm
Post subject: ADVICE FROM JOHN - A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is John. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Patricia to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


EDITOR'S NOTE:
John, died suddenly on JULY 31 . The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his ass, with barely 5 inches of grip showing. His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that John, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

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Molon labe!

"Come and take them" The expression of defiance reportedly by King Leonidas in response to the Persian army's demand that the Spartans surrender their weapons at the Battle of Thermopylae

When you take away everything a man has, don't be surprised when he acts like a man with nothing to lose


Last edited by Oldgoat on Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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medicsixzero
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Joined: Apr 16, 2006
Posts: 559
Location: Conus
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 8:24 pm
Post subject: Re: ADVICE FROM JOHN - A RETIRED HUSBAND

Of fucK! That's funny as hell.

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"only one here has the power of the ban and boot and ability to title as ass clown. He is the final arbiter." WYTAC

"The crotchety, grumpy shitbags on this site are also the Admin, Mods and other vested and vetted persons who have been doing this for many years. We get tired of people coming to ask the same tired questions which can answered by the use of the search button. If you and others are too lazy or ignorant to utilize this function, it shows a good insight to your lack of work ethic and motivation." Hardknocks
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drifter15s
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Joined: Sep 13, 2011
Posts: 30
Location: Kabul/Fargo, ND
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:53 pm
Post subject: Re: ADVICE FROM JOHN - A RETIRED HUSBAND

That is pretty awesome! And at 26, I can take this advice and use it for a long time.
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dave263k9
Contractor
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Joined: Apr 02, 2006
Posts: 68
Location: afghanistan
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:25 am
Post subject: Re: ADVICE FROM JOHN - A RETIRED HUSBAND

that was excellent...lol
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2cats
Contributing Member
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Joined: Jun 03, 2010
Posts: 156
Location: Colorado
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:08 pm
Post subject: Re: ADVICE FROM JOHN - A RETIRED HUSBAND

Was the 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II salvageable?

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"Don't believe everything you think."
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