Zombies are Americans, Too!'

The 2006 Minneapolis Aquatennial – an annual festival held every July – had some unexpected visitors. A group of seven zombies (in this case, people dressed as zombies with makeup to help them appear to be the walking dead) went through the shopping zone and shambled around in protest of blatant consumerism – and what’s a zombie to do? It must be tough to try and subside on canned pork brains when there are so many healthy, living humans buying hoodies at the local Urban Outfitters.

Regardless, many shoppers were nonplussed by the shenanigans of these civilly disobedient zombies, and though there were no injuries, someone called 911. Apparently (according to the article at startribune.com) the responding officers approached the small group of zombies – which were not numerous enough to really be called a horde – and asked them to stay clear of bystanders and refrain from broadcasting music or offers of brains. It seems that these peaceful zombies agreed, and decided to go watch a high school drum show. According to reports, the Minneapolis police later became concerned about the possibility that the zombies were actually members of a dangerous gang from Washington State (no word on whether they are from a town called Forks or if they sparkle) and went to relocate the zombies and ID them.

Unfortunately, as is often the case with zombies, some of them were not carrying identification, and they were arrested and detained for two days. Feeling that their first amendment rights had been violated. A judge ruled in favor of the police, and the group of zombies appealed. The appellate court has now ruled that the group had a right to express themselves, and that the police did not clearly define the charge of disorderly conduct to suit the situation. The plaintiffs are seeking $50,000 each for their ordeal, and the City Attorney has stated that she is preparing for the battle, though she made no mention of a cricket stick or a flamethrower.

The Star Tribune article states that the Minneapolis police are not returning requests for comment on this story. I think it is safe to speculate that this case may have been the reason I was unable to get a reply about the city’s zombie preparedness when I was researching urban zombie response plans last summer. However, it seems that much of the city is just fine with the idea of zombies in their neighborhood.

Minneapolis has a thriving zombie scene, full of exciting nightlife for the undead. In fact, the Zombie Pub Crawl originated there in October of 2005, and last year’s event boasted upward of 6,000 “undead” participants stumbling from bar to bar and imbibing spirits. Minneapolis is also home to it’s own zombie theme bar, Donnie Dirk’s Zombie Den, where the staff all dress as Shaun of the Dead and there is a chainsaw behind glass in case of zombie emergencies. I tried to reach the proprietors, but apparently the establishment is closed on Mondays. No doubt there will be plenty of zombies enjoying the “happy horror” in weeks to come as this zombie victory is celebrated.

OLDGOAT: You never cease to amaze me with the stories you post. I can always count on one good laugh each week. Thanks for all the research you put in to finding these stories.

And that is why you are always supposed to shoot zombies in the head....